Ep. 39: The Big Hit

Lucy thinks it’s vile.  Jenny doesn’t think it was that bad, but Lord it wasn’t good.

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Story Analysis & Ratings:

Lucy says: 1 Pop ~ A weak, dumb, inconsistent hero seducing a smart but flatly written – and only technically of age – kidnap victim. A plot that meanders self-indulgently, and some of the worst dialogue I’ve ever witnessed first-hand. Not so much a story as a delivery system for male adolescent fantasies about bombs, guns, and Catholic schoolgirls. Ugh.

Lucy’s rating breakdown: Structure: 1, Comedy: 1, Romance: 1, Action-Adventure: 1

Jenny says: 1 Pop ~ I think the story had a solid opening that it immediately undercut by giving us a hero to despise.  Aimed squarely at a specific audience without pandering to any other, so it gets credit for that, but not much else.

Jenny’s rating breakdown: Structure: 2, Comedy: 1, Romance: 1, Action-Adventure: 2.

Blog Poll Rating: TBD

Read the chat here!

Movie Info:

Story: Hitman Melvin Smiley, an expert at his lucrative job, goes on a job and falls in love with his kidnapping victim, turning his world upside down. Release Date: April 24, 1998 Writer: Ben Ramsey

9 thoughts on “Ep. 39: The Big Hit

  1. Reasons why this movie fails:
    (a) I did not figure out that Marky Mark was the protagonist until after the building explosion stuff and we saw him with his women.
    (b) I did not give a shit whether or not Marky Mark survived the building explosion because I did not care about him then.
    (c) The only reason I start caring about Marky Mark after that is because I feel sorry for him with his women. Except oh, he’s a lameass cheater, so why am I feeling sorry for him again?
    (d) The rest of it is very lame, except for…

    Reasons why this movie isn’t a total failure for me and I’d give it a 2 overall:
    (a) Even if the heroine is a barely legal Asian Catholic schoolgirl (ugh), she’s snarky and the smartest/funniest character in the movie. The reading of the note alone is awesome.
    (b) Darn it if this movie doesn’t actually show them building a romance more than some other romance movies I’ve seen. Much to my shock, they do actually work on that. It doesn’t make sense that she’d go for him, but they do seem to build some kind of chemistry over that dinner.

    And for those two reasons, I still have to think it’s slightly better than Assassination Bureau. Lord, it’s not good, but it did do a little bit right.

  2. Man, I forgot movies this bad were even made anymore. I hated every interaction Melvin had- especially the girlfriend & mistress. Also, poor Lainie Kazan for playing two caricatures so far in PopD- though this one was by far the more offensive one.

    Also, it made me smile to hear Jenny say what a bad actor Mark Wahlberg the same night of the Academy Awards. (I just checked, he wasn’t technically nominated for acting, but producing). Still, they should reissue this movie with “Academy Award nominated actor Marky Mark” across the top of it. 🙂

  3. Did I say that? I think that was Lucy. Although maybe not.

    I do think the movie did some things right. Barefoot in the Park is still my nadir. The Assassination Bureau was just confusing. This one was really off-putting.

  4. Teenage boys – my husband assures me it was much better when he saw it in high school with a bunch of other boys who were up late watching it.

    I also liked the snark from the kidnappee. I also giggled at the overacting from the video clerk.

  5. Ummm….all I can really say about this movie is that it’s going to make Mr. and Mrs. Smith look really good by comparison.

  6. This might be the worst movie that I’ve seen all the way to the end. I can’t include Barefoot in the Park because I stopped watching it and didn’t participate in it for PopD because I remembered how bad it was.

    There was much about this movie that I was uncomfortable with. The barely legal catholic schoolgirl motif is icky. The Melvin is unsympathetic the way he’s written. Maybe a bit of backstory could’ve given us some insight but I think he’d still be a sop and I’d still be uninterested in him. Elliott Gould is my favorite character and even he’s just playing a gross caricature of his own character from “Friends”.

    Sadly, I started looking at the clock before the opening credits were even done, but I tried to keep an open mind. Unfortunately, this movie really does suck. Dh watched it with me. We agreed that the audience was 13 yo boys. Later into the movie we thought that maybe it was written by one, too.

  7. I know. It’s awful. I didn’t remember it being this bad, but it’s really terrible.
    At least now we have another baseline besides Barefoot in the Park.

  8. I personally love this movie! I don’t see why everybody hates it so much. The plot wasn’t great, but the characters had some really good lines. Lou Diamond Phillips is my favorite actor and he did a great job in this!

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